When you are in your 20’s your mind is full of a hundred millions thoughts all flying around and colliding with one another. Your thinking about every thing from “should I have said that” and “will I have a got enough money” to “what am I doing with my life” and “Do you think my mum can book my dentist appointment” and then one morning you burn your toast and find your self crying on your kitchen floor (don’t lie we have all been there).
When we are stressed we feel like are heads are just going to explode. We end up using are loved ones as punching bags and saying things we really regret (my poor mum), so we need to find away to help.
Most parents, partners and good friends understand that you don’t mean what you have said in the heat of the moment, but you still get the knot of guilt in the bottom of your stomach because you know you have just out bitched yourself.
Here are some ideas I have had to stop me losing my head, as even I know how bad my temper is…
Let It All Out – By this I don’t mean scream and shout and everyone that comes into room. Get yourself a journal (pretty one). Let this be the place you let it all out. Keep it hidden and you can write what ever you want about who ever you want and no one will ever see it. This way you can’t offend anyone, they are just your thought’s. Everything become clearer once you have written it down.
Don’t Bottle It Up – If you start to bottle up your feeling or your stress up you will spontaneously combust and it wont be pretty, you will looking King Kong gone mad. Find your self someone you can trust. I have a friend we meet a couple of times a month for a cheeky G&T and we laugh. We laugh about all our problems and trust me we have problems. Laughing also releases stress so it’s a win win situation.
Don’t Be So Serious – Things don’t always go our way. I for one know this first hand. Some days I feel the world is agiant me and I should’nt have got out of bed. The best advice I can give is don’t be so serious. Don’t get pulled down by the little things in life.Don’t dwell on every little mistakes (We learn from our mistakes and move on) or things that have gone wrong, you will go mad. Have a laugh, put some lipstick on and always look the future.
Take A Step Back – When you feel like you could explode remove yourself from the situation. If I have been fighting with my mum I make her and myself a cuppa, I hideaway in my room (normally write in my journal), she hide away from me and when I can be a proper adult we will talk. Removing yourself can really stop you saying things you know you don’t mean. Taking a step back will let you see the bigger picture, what ever you are stressing won’t seem so big.
Get Physical – Exercise is one of the best ways to kill stress yet not many people use it. When I am really struggling yoga or running really helps me to clear my mind. We all have those bad days when you just want your slippers and a hot chocolate or a large glass of a wine!! But exercise will really make you feel better, take your mind of things, espically if your trying to balance the tree pose. Also if you take up boxing you can pretend the punchbag is the person annoying you.
Bad Day At Work? – We have all had one of them !! Those days were we feel like we are going lose the plot at work. Unfortunately work is the one place you really do have to be an adult (whether you like it or not). It could a colleague or a client that is starting to drive you insane but do not lose your s**t!! Take a deep breathe and be the better adult or bigger person in the situation. Remain calm and tell your facial expressions to do the same thing (Your faical expressions will give you away). If it a colleague step away to cool off and if it’s client kill them kindness – Never fails to work. You can always learn to cope at work and if you really can’t maybe you’re not in the right job.
What If It’s Not You – I really am the most awkward person when people fight or lose it in front of me. I never know what to do should I walk away, help, shout back, I never have a clue. The first thing I have learnt is NEVER say ‘Calm Down’ or ‘It Will Be Okay’ people normally want to slap you. The best thing I have learnt is just to be there for someone and if they want to be on their own they will let you know. So try not to freak out when other people turning into The Incredible Hulk.
I hope I have offered some help in keeping your cool. Please let me know if you have any of your own ways of keep your head.
With love Lauren-Amy